PC, Cultural Respect, and Getting Over It

I was watching Fox news during my morning routine a few days ago (I’m conservative, sue me) and saw the story on Trump’s visit to Israel. Between the back and forth on Israel and U.S. relations, foreign policy, and Trump’s actions overseas, I caught some of the conversation on Melania Trump’s overseas presence. The newscasters were discussing the Israeli media’s praise of First Lady Trump and her modest clothing choices. The Israeli media made a point to recognize that while she wasn’t dressed in a head scarf or other such traditional dress she chose a very conservative outfit out of respect for a culture she was not a part of. They took note of her freedom of expression in not dressing exactly like they dressed but they appreciated the efforts put forth to show her respect for their culture. Respect. That’s really what it all comes down to here.

We hear a lot in our culture about the endless ways we can offend other people. We can say, do, act, or be a direct offense to another individual without conscious knowledge of our “mistakes”.  One of my favorite examples of this is the use of the phrase “Merry Christmas.” Let me get one thing straight. If I say “Merry Christmas” to you I am not trying to force my beliefs on you. In fact I absolutely love when someone says “Happy Hanukah” or some other such sentiment in return. Why? It’s a celebration of culture, religion, and people. If I say “Merry Christmas” to you I mean “I sincerely hope you have a joyful time of year as it is generally a time that uplifts people’s spirits.” Since I am Christian and believe in celebrating the birth of my Savior I shorten that painfully long greeting to “Merry Christmas”. I welcome the warm and kind words of “Happy Hanukah”, “Feliz Navidad”, etc. because as a rational human being I recognize that these people are not trying to force their religion or ideals on me. They are in sincerity wishing me happiness and joy. 

This politically correct, don’t say any words that could possibly offend anyone, extravaganza has only grown worse in the past few years. Now we can’t say ma’am or sir without offending someone; even though these words are intended with respect. There are a myriad of words and phrases that I cannot say because I might “offend” someone or blaspheme their “safe space”. When did we become a people who let other people dictate how we feel? Millennials, why do you let your feelings get in the way of your abilities. I cannot tell you how often I am ashamed to be counted among the millennial generation because I see countless people around me who are brilliant, talented, vivacious human beings throw temper tantrums because someone hurt their feelings, go on a rampage because they’re offended or upset, or lay on the ground crying because “there are just too many injustices in an unjust world”. It’s time to take control of your emotions, appreciate when people are trying to be kind, and get over it. Most people are trying to connect with you, get to know you, appreciate you, or whatever it may be even if they don’t do it in the way you’d like. Guess what. The world doesn’t revolve around you and your feelings. You choose whether or not to be offended. If you feel that you cannot possibly go on because you are just too darn offended you should probably do a little soul searching and rethink your life.

Don’t get me wrong. I recognize that plenty of people say rude, immature, and unnecessary things. I’m a Mormon, conservative woman. The number of times I’ve been asked how my goals will (hinting at negatively) affect my children (as if my wanting to continue to pursue educational and career goals will somehow psychologically mess up my currently non-existent children) is astronomical. But you know what? It doesn’t matter. I know what I want and who I am. I know my character. I choose not to be offended because it only slows me down. My only goal today is to be the best person I can be regardless of what other people think and to prove those people who have doubted and disrespected me wrong. If someone makes a derogatory remark about your race, religion, sexual orientation, political beliefs, etc. Prove. Them. Wrong. You want to make a change; you want to see a difference? Get over it and prove them wrong. If someone makes a remark intended to be kind and uplifting, accept the comment. Don’t be trite and disrespectful. That is the most sure-fire way to destroy the humanity of a people from the inside than anything else I know. It keeps people from wanting to share goodness and respect out of fear that they will be lashed out at for their efforts. Don’t be a part of the problem. Be the solution. Get over it. Accept kindness. Prove the nay-sayers wrong.

To finish I want to go back to the concept of respect. Being respectful of other people’s beliefs does not mean that we cannot talk about our own beliefs and principles. In fact it’s quite the opposite. Rather than “tolerating” one another’s beliefs we should be celebrating them. Tolerating is a word used by people who have no grasp on the idea of respect. I can tolerate you and you can tolerate me but we’ll never really be friends will we? However if we can come to a point where we celebrate each other’s differences we have made a huge leap in the social atmosphere of today. Bridging the culture gap is hard. People are comfortable in environments that are most familiar to them. That’s why people don’t usually extend outside their circles of familiarity too much unless they’re forced to do so. If we want the social injustices of this country to go away as much as they possibly can in a world with imperfect people we’re going to have to learn to have true respect for one another. That means I as a conservative and you as a liberal, independent, green party, whatever you may be can sit down in a room and appreciate one another as human beings rather than judging one another for our difference in thought. We can have a political conversation that doesn’t end in a fight or loss of friendship. We can have differences because differences make us individuals and that above all is the greatest part about being human. We are not all the same and we have the remarkable opportunity to learn from each other. Let respect be about learning from one another and valuing different opinions rather than keeping quiet and closing off out of fear of offending others. There will continue to be offensive comments, people, etc. Learn to rise above trite offense. Learn from your experiences and continue to seek to respect others. If you can respect others the people worth having in your life will respect you too.